An End with No New Beginning

I met with my cross country coach yesterday to discuss the season, how it went, the team dynamics, etc. Everyone had to do it. I'm the only one who also had to tell him that I don't think I'm going to be running next year. It has nothing to do with how the year went or the team or anything. I've been thinking really hard about it lately, and I just don't think it's something I can do anymore. I had a couple of minor leg problems this year that I don't want to become more serious, next fall is possibly going to be one of my busiest semesters of college, plus I'll be married too, not that that alone would keep me from doing cross country. However, the main thing that affected my decision was just how I feel about cross country. My heart is just not in it like it used to be. I love running, I love cross country, I've been doing it for 7 years now, I just feel like if I do it next year I'll be forcing myself to do it and running will seem like a chore. I don't want something I love to become something I force myself to do and start to hate it. It may seem like an easy decision to most people, but it is such a hard decision. If you have ever done a sport or cross country in particular, you know what I mean. I've always had great teams, great coaches, and I honestly love to run. I improved so much this year and really like my coach. That's why I had to tell him in person-I could easily have waited until the spring and just sent him an email saying I'm not going to run, but I have a lot of respect for him and I don't want it to be awkward seeing him on campus. He was very supportive too and said if I ever want advice with any kind of running or want to train for a half or full marathon he'd be willing to help me with that, so I'm really glad I talked to him in person. I'm really going to miss running with a team. It's hard to choose to do this instead of just not being able to run because my 4 years are up. I could run a full year more, but I just can't bring myself to do it. But, if anybody wants to train for a marathon, Erica and I have discussed running one once we're done with cross country. So I guess there might be a beginning after all, although it just feels like I'm done. It's very sad, yet freeing in a way. I'm not sure what I'm going to do next fall with the time that I'd normally spend running. Probably actually get my homework done sooner than the day it's due.

And we'll run for our lives